


Friday's Child

by sketchbook henry (bessemerprocess)



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Other, Surprise Baby, stolen DNA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessemerprocess/pseuds/sketchbook%20henry
Summary: Sheldon puts Penny's Christmas present to practical purposes.





	Friday's Child

Sheldon walks in the door with a baby carrier in one hand and a diaper bag in the other.

The room goes silent, that is, until the baby cries.

Leonard stares as Sheldon sets the baby carrier down, and extracts the child from it. "There, there," Sheldon says, which calms the baby, but does nothing for the rest of the room.

"Uhm, Sheldon, that's a baby," Penny points out.

"Yes, Penny."

"Sheldon? Where did you get a baby?" Leonard asks in a tone that implies that the only way Sheldon might acquire a baby is through illegal means.

"I made him," Sheldon announces happily.

"How?" Penny asks in disbelief.

Raj whispers furiously behind his hand to Howard, who laughs.

Sheldon tuts, and shifts the baby to his other side. "Through the normal process. I acquired a healthy ovum, inserted the appropriate DNA, and had the resultant embryo implanted in a host."

"A willing host?" Leonard asks.

"Of course, a willing host. The necessary lifestyle requirements to provide a healthy environment for a growing fetus requires a willing host," Sheldon explains.

"So this is your baby?" Howard asks.

"Of course. Why would I put forth the required energy to raise a larval human if it was not in some manner connected to me? Honestly, Howard."

"But why? Are you making a Sheldon clone army?"

"Oh, you are under the impression that I used my own DNA. No, I used the DNA of Leonard Nimoy that Penny gifted me for Christmas. Since Leonard has already taken the use of Leonard as a proper name, and he has previously explained to me his unwillingness to change said name--unless you've changed your mind about that?"

"No, still Leonard," Leonard says, as the rest of the room just keep staring at Sheldon.

"Well, then, I will be calling the baby Leo in order to keep thing unambiguous," Sheldon explains. “Welcome to the apartment, Leo,” he says with a happy grin

***

Sheldon claims the baby falls under "experiments - biological" in the existing roommate contract, and Leonard lets him get away with it, because of the way Leo makes Penny smile.

“Sheldon!” Leonard yells, holding the phone against his chest. 

Leo wakes and wails against Penny’s chest, and she glares at him, but he doesn’t care.

“Sheldon, did you tell your sister that we’re together and that she was the only way we could have a baby?” Leonard screeches hysterically.

“I may not have clarified which Leonard I was speaking of,” Sheldon says with a shrug.


End file.
